5 Responses to “desperately need neutral opinion to settle emotionally abusive? relationship?”

1. goat F er says:

   May 3, 2009 at 10:04 pm

   i didn’t read the 4 page question….but do you give oral….then your ok
2. Cartman says:

   May 6, 2009 at 11:56 pm

   i didnt even have to read half of this story to know that he is very immature. and cannot communicate well. i also believe that he does not truely love you, due to the fact that he is always breaking up with you. this is something an 18 year kid does that does not know how to handle a serious relationship.

   ALSO the fact that he never wants you to come out with his friends shows that he does not want you around.

   10 years… my god… 10 years of this?? ten years of the same man breaking up with you ALL THE TIME??? 10 years of the same man not wanting you to come out with his friends??

   i had a boyfriend treat me the same way.. u know why he did it? cuz he was a stupid 17 year old…. my last boyfriend never broke up with me… never! over our 3 year relationship.. we would fight, but always make up.. why? because we loved each other and didnt wanna be apart. and he ALWAYS invited me to come out with his friends.. infact he made me come out with his friends cuz he loved me and wanted me to be around him.

   find someone who wants to be with u, and wants you around. if you stay any longer your only doing this to yourself.
3. bestadvicechick says:

   May 7, 2009 at 8:00 am

   Ok well, I didn’t even need to read the entire description because I could tell from the first 2 paragraphs that this is an unhealthy, unstable, emotionally turbulent r’ship. It’s not good for either one of you. My question to you would be: why do you keep taking him back after all these breakups? Breaking up is not meant to be something to take lightly. It’s either meant to really give 2 people time to re-evaluate what they want in their r’ship or to go their separate ways. It sounds, to me, like Kevin uses it as a weapon to hurt you and as a way to feel like he can just do whatever he wants. He’s a jerk but you’re LETTING him use you and letting him get away with it. He knows he can break up with you & then come back, no problem. You’re not even allowed to ask questions. This isn’t a r’ship. It’s one person USING another. You need to do yourself a favor and END this roller coaster r’ship NOW so you can move on and find someone who loves you & cherishes you the way a person should. And Kevin can be free to be as immature as he wants to be.
4. Nena S says:

   May 9, 2009 at 12:02 am

   You are right when you say you are in a vicious cycle..This is a very stressful and unhealthy relationship…and the sooner you get the cojones to DO something about it, the better!

   You sound codependant to me. You know this man is not the guy for you; yet you continue to have this “psycho” relationship with him. Why are you doing this to yourself? BE CAREFUL….
   ……………………………………………………………………………
   Excerpts from:: WHY DOES HE DO THAT?
   INSIDE THE MINDS of ANGRY and CONTROLLING MEN
   BY: LUNDY BANCROFT

   How Can I Tell If A Man I Am Seeing Will Become Abusive?

   • He speaks badly about his former partners.
   • He is disrespectful towards you.
   • He does favors for you that you don’t want or puts on a show of generosity that makes you uncomfortable
   • He is controlling
   • He is possessive
   • Nothing is ever his fault
   • He is self-centered
   • He abuses drugs and/or alcohol
   • He pressures you for sex
   • He gets serious too quickly about the relationship
   • He intimidates you when he is angry
   • He has double standards
   • He has negative attitudes about women
   • He treats you differently around other people
   • He appears to be attracted to vulnerability
   • You show signs of being abused
5. Rusty says:

   May 11, 2009 at 5:01 pm

   I really **** having to tell people things they don’t want to hear but I think you’ve wasted 20 years with a man that is a liar and a cheat. It sounds as if he has kept you strictly out of his life not because he’s ashamed of you but because it would mess up his “other” life that you are not and will never be a part of. As for you being to blame because of your jealousy – what a load of bs that is.This man must be one hell of a liar or he’s hypnotized you or maybe you enable him to keep yup this charade by believing (or pretending to)every flimsy excuse he uses. Lord, woman just read your own question out loud to yourself and pretend it was from someone else. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it? I would advise you to end the game before he does. I hope you have not alienated all your friends and family because of this creep. Gosh there are so many more things I could about the way he has been manipulating you but I just don’t have the heart…and deep down your heart already knows